


How (Not) To Wash Your Dragon

by kanonkita



Category: Temeraire - Naomi Novik, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Bathing/Washing, First Time, Intersex, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sexual Inexperience, Vaginal Fingering, Wei Wuxian wants to be full of Lan Wangji's eggs already, dragon wei wuxian, dubcon, human-shaped dragon, implied eggpreg, just a little, this is a very loose crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:02:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28533348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanonkita/pseuds/kanonkita
Summary: Lan Wangji needs to give his dragon a bath, but Wei Ying can be very distracting.
Relationships: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn
Comments: 27
Kudos: 429





	How (Not) To Wash Your Dragon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RaisingCaiin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaisingCaiin/gifts).



> Er... this was kind of a study piece for what these two would be like in a much larger Temeraire/MDZS crossover that RC proposed. It's mostly just smutty dragon fun, so don't worry if you know nothing about the Temeraire series.

Lan Wangji has almost gotten used to the idea that dragons can look like humans if they want to, but he’s not sure he’ll ever get used to the reality of it. It wouldn’t be so bad if Wei Ying would have the decency to transform into some big burly thing all covered in hair and reeking of sweat, but no. He has to be this lithe, sleek little thing with clever eyes and a smile that curls Lan Wangji’s toes. Of course he would be, logically. He’s lithe and sleek and clever as a dragon after all. It’s just that when he’s small enough that Lan Wangji  _ could _ wrap his arms around him, it’s very difficult to resist doing exactly that.

He watches, unable to do otherwise, as the young dragon crouches naked on the rocks by the pool’s edge, ears twitching curiously.

“Lan Zhan!” he chirps. “What are these?”

“Fish, Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji tells him. “You’ve seen fish before.”

“Not these ones! They’re so tiny and bright!” he shifts to dip a foot into the water and gasps in delight as the juvenile carp scatter in every direction. “Are they okay to eat?”

“No,” Lan Wangji tells him, moving to stand just behind him. “They are decorative.”

Wei Ying looks up at him in confusion. “You use animals as decoration?”

“They are happy where they are, and we are happy to see them where they are,” Lan Wangji explains.

“How do you know they’re happy?”

But Lan Wangji is running out of words for the evening, so he just shrugs in response, and Wei Ying’s face falters slightly.

“Are you going to bathe?” Lan Wangji asks.

“Yes, I suppose,” Wei Ying sighs. “I just didn’t want to use the fishies’ pond if they weren’t going to like it.”

“You were going to eat them,” his partner reminds him, trying to communicate the lack of logic in Wei Ying’s thought process.

“Only if it was okay.” 

Wei Ying slides down off the rock with a little huff and sinks into the water until only his forehead and crimson eyes show above the surface. His hair floats out around him like a dark cloud. Lan Wangji begins removing his shoes and rolling up his trousers so that he can take the dragon’s former position on the rock and dangle his weary feet in the cool water.

“Would you like me to wash your hair?” he asks once he’s gotten settled, and Wei Ying resurfaces to nod enthusiastically.

“I do like it when you wash my hair,” he chirrups. “It’s relaxing.”

Lan Wangji can’t help the slightest of smiles at his unrestrained and childish enthusiasm, so different to the way in which he’s taken to conducting himself around their peers of late. It’s nice to know that, when it comes down to just the two of them, Wei Ying is still the hatchling that Lan Wangji first met on his ship. The thought gives him a twinge of guilt for his thoughts on the dragon’s form a moment ago.

He reaches for the bucket with the soap and towels that Wei Ying left not far away while the young dragon comes to rest his head on folded arms on the rock beside his master, gazing up at him with something Lan Wangji might deem worship if he were just a little less humble. It’s not until he has the hair oil in his hands that Lan Wangji realizes that, unlike when bathing Wei Ying in a tub, there is no way to wash his hair here without getting his own robes soaked. He sets the oil down again with a sigh and gets to his feet to begin removing his outer robes.

“What are you doing?” Wei Ying wants to know.

Lan Wangji makes no answer, figuring that his actions will be answer enough shortly, and continues to shuck first one layer and then the next, folding them carefully as he does. Were it anyone else in that pool behind him, he would never even consider it, but undressing in front of Wei Ying somehow feels as natural as bathing with his brother did when they were children.

“Are you coming in with me!?” Wei Ying’s voice rises to an excited squeak as Lan Wangji begins undoing the tie on his trousers.

“It seemed the most efficient method,” he says, and turns to find the dragon staring at him in wide-eyed wonder.

“You’re all pink!” Wei Ying breathes.

“Of course I am.”

“Well, but… I mean… I knew you wouldn’t have scales or anything, it’s just…” His gaze tracks up and down Lan Wangji’s form curiously. “What’s that thing there?”

Lan Wangji can easily guess what the young dragon is referring to.

“A penis,” he answers, suddenly regretting his choice to undress. He isn’t sure that he’s ready to have this conversation with his dragon.

“What? Why’s it all… flapping around like that? Where’s your sheath?”

“Humans don’t have sheaths.” Lan Wangji steps forward, intent on hiding his nakedness beneath the surface of the water as quickly as possible.

“But—”

“Do you want to talk about penises, or do you want me to wash your hair?” Lan Wangji questions as he slides into the pond, the cool water covering him almost to his shoulders.

To his almost horror, Wei Ying hesitates a moment before answering, “Wash,” in a slightly dejected voice.

Lan Wangji beckons him closer and reaches for the hair oil once more. The dragon approaches until his hands come to rest on Lan Wangji’s bare stomach, and the man tenses in sudden shock. Wei Ying’s touch quickly vanishes.

“Did I catch you with my claws?” he frets.

“No,” Lan Wangji assures him, and then: “Turn.”

Wei Ying does so, tilting his head back in anticipation. Lan Wangji takes up the ladle from the bucket with the soap and begins carefully wetting the top of the dragon’s head where it has not yet been submerged in the pond. As the water cascades over them, he strokes the dark locks back from Wei Ying’s face and neck, arranging them in one smooth stream down the dragon’s back and enjoying their silky texture as he does. Then, he shakes some of the oil into his palms and begins working it into the roots. Wei Ying’s eyes flutter shut with a happy little trill from deep in his throat as Lan Wangji’s fingertips begin to massage his scalp.

After a moment, he begins pressing backward, almost as if he were trying to work himself up against Lan Wangji’s warmth.

“Wei Ying,” the man speaks a warning, and the dragon stills, but there’s definitely less space between their naked bodies than there was a moment ago. Lan Wangji pushes at him gently, and he takes another step forward with a noise that sounds very much like a pout. Lan Wangji ignores him and continues his task, moving his attentions now from the top of the dragon’s head.

It’s as his fingers brush past the fronds on either side of Wei Ying’s neck that it happens: the dragon’s spine suddenly arches, head thrown back and hands shooting out to find something to grasp at as he lets out a noise that is somewhere between a moan and a cry. Lan Wangji hastily removes his hands, horrified, and Wei Ying turns to him with a frantic, feverish expression.

For a moment, neither of them speaks, simply staring at one another instead, and then Wei Ying breaks the silence: “Would you do that again?” he asks, voice barely more than a hoarse whisper.

Lan Wangji’s limited supply of scripted social interactions utterly fails him. Unless he’s very much mistaken, he has just touched Wei Ying in a manner somewhat salacious, and now Wei Ying wants more of it. Does the dragon understand what he’s asking for? Lan Wangji has yet to explain the concept of sex to him, but that doesn’t mean no one else has. He wouldn’t put it past Nie Huaisang by any means to take it upon himself to educate others’ dragons in the matters of reproduction.

“Please,” Wei Ying begs, shifting closer again as his expression pitches into desperation. “Lan Zhan… More, please.”

And Lan Wangji is so not prepared for this. He finds himself suddenly unable to pull away, back pressed to the rocks, as his dragon presses against him, arms twining around his neck and legs shifting in obvious discomfort. He makes a whining noise and nips lightly at Lan Wangji’s neck.

“My tummy feels funny,” he whines. “I wanna be touched more.”

The front of his pelvis is now pressing smooth and hard against Lan Wangji’s rapidly increasing interest, and the man reaches quickly for the dragon’s hips trying to put some space between them. But the moment his fingers find purchase on the soft scales that adorm Wei Ying’s lower back and thighs, the other is clinging to him all the more firmly, gasping in surprise.

“Wei Ying!” Lan Wangji finally finds his voice as a leg comes up, trying to wrap around his own bare hip. “What do you think you’re doing!?”

But the dragon doesn’t answer. He’s breathing slow and deep now, a hazy quality to his eyes as he grinds soft folds against Lan Wangji’s hardening length, and Lan Wangji realizes with a sinking feeling that he has accidentally thrown his dragon into a minor heat, something he should have realized was a danger for him at this age. It was foolish of him to think that just because he was human and Wei Ying a dragon that his touch could not affect Wei Ying in such a way.

He casts around desperately in his mind for a solution to the problem. From what he understands, Wei Ying isn’t going to come back to himself now until he’s been satisfied. Should he try and summon assistance? There are many older dragons in the Cloud Recesses who would surely be understanding and careful with Wei Ying, but the thought of another dragon breeding his own sends curls of something hot and possessive shooting up Lan Wangji’s back. Would it be so wrong, he wonders, to help Wei Ying through this himself?

It is, after all, a necessity. And it is, after all, his own naive fault that Wei Ying has ended up in such a state to begin with.

And it’s clearly  _ him _ that Wei Ying wants to relieve himself with anyway, because the dragon is now making a serious attempt at spearing himself on Lan Wangji’s erection.

“Wei Ying,” he repeats, softer this time, and slides his hand from around the other’s hip to create something of a barrier between them. His knuckles brush against Wei Ying’s folds as he does, and the dragon begins to purr, the vibrations of it sinking deep into Lan Wangji’s chest. Lan Wangji hesitates only a moment longer before turning his hand around and beginning to explore the dragon’s body with a couple of curious fingers.

Wei Ying’s own penis is still sheathed, only the delicate head protruding from its hiding place at the top of his intimate areas. The dragon is likely still too young for his masculine parts to be fully developed, but he shivers and whines all the same when Lan Wangji’s fingers caress the little nub, coaxing it further from its sheath. It fits easily in his palm, small but just as hot and stiff as his own. He’s struck by a sudden urge to lift Wei Ying onto the rocks behind them where he would be at the perfect height for Lan Wangji to wrap his mouth around the little shaft in his hand, but it seems that Wei Ying’s current situation is unlikely to be satisfied by such things, considering he’s already back to trying to seat himself on Lan Wangji’s own, much larger shaft.

“Fool,” Lan Wangji murmurs affectionately, and moves his fingers farther south to the slick warmth between the dragon’s legs. 

Even mingled with the water of the pond, Lan Wangji can feel the viscous lubricants that have already flowed thick and eager from his dragon. The moment his fingers slide toward Wei Ying’s entrance, the other’s breath begins to quicken and his hips start to rock into the touch. Lan Wangji lets out a ragged breath as the dragon’s cock begins to grind against his own with every slow roll of his body. What he wants more than anything right now is to give in and sink himself into the eager, ready hole that’s now clenching down on the tip of his finger, but he knows he can’t. Perversion aside, Wei Ying is far too new to this for penetration to be safe.

All the same, it’s getting difficult to maneuver his hand in their current position, so Lan Wangji withdraws it and takes one of the dragon’s slender thighs in each hand, hoisting him up so that Wei Ying can grip his waist between his legs, which are now spread to allow Lan Wangji better access to his entrance. This time, when he pushes the tip of his finger into the young dragon, he gets a squeal and feels teeth sink into his shoulder—not hard, but certainly enough to notice.

“Relax, Wei Ying,” he murmurs, stroking his other hand down the dragon’s back as he advances his finger.

“Lan Zhan…” Wei Ying whines when he’s been penetrated up to the second knuckle, and Lan Wangji feels his own body throb in aching need.

He swallows hard, resisting the urge to grip himself with his free hand while he curls the finger he’s got buried inside the dragon experimentally. 

Sex in general is not something he knows much about beyond theory, and even less so the ins and outs of female reproductive organs, but he recalls having once overheard one of the older disciples giving some of his peers a lecture on how to locate the center of feminine pleasure. He reluctantly offers silent thanks to that disciple when Wei Ying’s grip on him tightens with a thick moan.

Lan Wangji tentatively slides a second finger up to try and join the first, but as he starts to stretch Wei Ying’s entrance, the dragon makes a sound that’s unmistakably pain and not pleasure.

“Apologies,” he murmurs, pulling the other finger back. But Wei Ying seems unperturbed now that the threat of overstretching is gone, and is already trying to grind down onto Lan Wangji’s finger again. Lan Wangji begins to pump it slowly in and out, curling it to try and hit that one spot on every withdrawal, and Wei Ying starts to moan louder and more frequently, claws scrambling at Lan Wangji’s bare back. The man hisses slightly, sure that he’ll find the skin torn when they’re done, but continues, determined to finish what he’s started.

It doesn’t take long—doubtless another testament to Wei Ying’s youth and inexperience—before the dragon tenses, head falling back in a silent shout for a moment before his voice catches once more and an almost entirely inhuman noise comes bursting from him. Lan Wangji feels the dragon’s cock twitch between them in time to the waves of pleasure constricting the finger he has buried inside Wei Ying’s body, and then it is over.

Wei Ying goes slack in his arms, and Lan Wangji holds him fast to prevent the dragon slipping back down into the pond, his own erection pinned painfully between them.

“Lan… Lan Zhan…” Wei Ying murmurs weakly against the side of his neck, his claws flexing vaguely against Lan Wangji’s shoulders.

And Lan Wangji should not --  _ must _ not -- but he simply cannot help himself, despite a lifetime of practice at restraint and control. He begins to thrust, his hardened shaft slipping back and forth through Wei Ying's soft folds, bumping against the dragon's now-softened cock.

"O-oh! Ohhhh! Lan Zhan!!" Wei Ying whimpers, squeezing his knees around his master's waist to pull himself closer into the sensation.

Lan Wangji buries his face in the dragon's neck and silky, wet hair and whispers his name as he feels himself tip over the brink. When his head finally clears, Wei Ying is purring, nuzzling into Lan Wangji’s hair and nipping gently at his ear.

“Lan Zhan… Lan Zhan, I like it,” he croons. “Again, Lan Zhan!”

“No,” Lan Wangji tells him, but he can’t bring himself to push the dragon away. “No, this is… something you should do with another dragon, not me.”

Wei Ying whines and wraps his arms about Lan Wangji’s neck, possessively. “Don’t wanna. I wanna do it with Lan Zhan. I want Lan Zhan’s penis inside me next time. I want Lan Zhan to give me eggs!”

“You--!”

Now Lan Wangji does push his dragon away with much protesting and splashing.

“Wei Ying, how do you know where eggs come from?” he demands, holding the dragon’s hands to focus his attention and prevent him getting close again.

Wei Ying pouts at him. “Nie-xiong said--”

Lan Wangji clicks his tongue in irritation. Of course Huaisang did.

“What?” Wei Ying whines. “He knows what he’s talking about, and I don’t wanna be paired with another dragon. I like Lan Zhan!”

Lan Wangji takes a deep breath and squeezes the dragon’s hands softly. Well, at least Wei Ying had  _ some _ knowledge of what they were doing and the potential consequences of it, even if he does seem to be mixed up a bit about the gravity of said consequences.

“I like Wei Ying, too,” he says, and Wei Ying blinks at him in surprise before shifting into one of his sunshine smiles. “But I am not going to give you any eggs right now.”

Wei Ying falls back into a pout. “Why not?” he demands.

“Because it would be irresponsible and reckless -- both of which are forbidden in the Cloud Recesses.”

Wei Ying rolls his eyes. “Ugh, Lan  _ Zhan! _ ”

“Also, we have not yet finished cleaning you,” Lan Wangji continues. “The body should be cleansed before intercourse, particularly if conception is planned.”

Wei Ying turns around grumbling and tips his head back to let Lan Wangji get back to washing his hair. Lan Wangji reaches for the oils he had set on the side of the pool earlier and notices the milky clouds of his release still floating around them. It wouldn’t… get onto Wei Ying from just being in the water… would it?

No, impossible, Lan Wangji decides. There is no risk of his dragon becoming gravid from the simple acts they performed together today. Lan Wangji shakes oil into his hand and ignores the part of himself that whispers about what a shame that would be if it were true. After all, Wei Ying is so very lithe and sleek…. Wouldn’t it be nice to see him a little less lithe for once?

Lan Wangji shakes his head and puts a considerable amount of cultivation toward suppressing his erection as he finishes the task at hand.


End file.
